[I always give the disclaimer that if you are opposed to premarital sex, masturbation or other forms of sexual behavior, then My Body Rocks® may either not be for you, or it will open your mind. I am here as a source of insight, encouragement, and promotion of body and self-confidence.]
I wasn't sure about what I would write for my first blog post about sex until I remembered a conversation I had with a friend of mine. She was telling about an overnight date she was going on with a close companion. She was planning what she was going to wear and take with her including sexy clothes, condoms, and lubrication. As she was packing, she said jokingly, “ Jen, I'm going to be a Slut tonight!"; ending with a giggle. I Iaughed with her, knowing she was half kidding, but then I said, "No, you're not going to be a Slut, you are preparing to have an enjoyable sexy evening." I went on to say that even though she was kidding and didn't actually regard herself as a Slut, the fact that she stated it alluded to something interesting that even recently discussed with a male friend of mine. We were talking about women who are very conservative and even repressive when it comes to sex. As usual, I referred to my experiences and observations first and those thoughts took me back to childhood.
I believe there is stigma regarding sex and women that has been subconsciously embedded in the minds of some, or maybe most women, starting at a young age.
As young girls, in my community at least, we were taught to be "good girls". If we were caught doing or saying anything that seemed other than behaving "prim and proper or “lady-like”, there were names for girls like that. I am by all means grateful for the manners, poise, and values my mother instilled in me. To this day, I credit her for qualities that are still ingrained in my consciousness.
However; there is a fine line between grooming a child properly and placing judgmental labels on young girls. In elementary school, mothers and even friends would already identify a girl as someone to stay clear of, if the girl was seen hanging, talking to or playing with too many boys too often. Or, if a rumor got out that there was a kiss or a touch between a boy and girl, then that girl was considered Fast or Loose. I have no idea what or if the boy was labeled with a title.
By high school, if a female started having sex and was rumored to have had a variety of "boyfriends" or "got with" a certain number of boys, then she was considered Wild, Easy, a Tramp, Hussy, or a Slut. These were not titles to be considered honorable at all, even if the girl herself had never thought of herself that way. Again, I do not recall if boys with equivalent behavior were given labels.
To be clear, I am not condoning disrespectful, self-destructive behavior. Yet, teenagers and even adults, make poor judgment calls, including sexual activity and relationship choices. My concern is the stigma placed on a female regarding her actual or often assumed sexual activity.
The derogatory attitude towards female girls and teens can form a negative inward emotion about oneself and an unwanted reputation she may carry for years.
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